What’s Naughty About a Wedding?

t’s true that weddings are in a sense meant to “legitimize” what Naughty Brides are probably doing already – whether it’s having sex or living together -- so in that awful, prurient, tedious way weddings can seem to the uninitiated to be the opposite of naughty. But for Naughty Brides, the fun part is that modern women aren’t “supposed” to want fancy weddings. Of course some of us do -- okay a lot of us, judging by the size of the multi-billion dollar wedding industry. But we’re ambivalent. We know we’re not Barbie dolls, but that doesn’t take away the pleasure of playing dress-up. Therefore it’s naughty to want a wedding because it betrays our feminist heritage, and it’s naughty because it’s more than a little self-indulgent.

So why take on the traditions at all? Good question. The usual answer is that someone in your family won’t settle for a trip to a Justice of the Peace. It might be your parents, it might be your maiden Aunt Fussbudget or it might even be you. In fact, it’s probably you, but for the purpose of this site, we’re going to assume it’s Aunt Fussy because it’s more fun to blame those non-refundable catering deposits on her. Crazy old bat.

Maybe we post-millenial-yet-pro-wedding gals are just slaves to magazine advertising, known in the trade as “wedding porn”. Maybe we’re seeking a transformative experience to help us transition between identities. Maybe we just want the dress. In the end, it doesn’t matter why we want a wedding. The party’s on, and now the task is to keep the reins on all the forces that want to make your wedding look like a big lace yard sale.

Once a wedding is set in motion – indeed, as soon as the word, “wedding” is uttered, approximately a zillion expectations come up. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees on what they are. That’s where the fear (of costs), tedium (with boring choices) and nausea (from unpalatable compromises) start. While this fear, boredom and nausea can be good exercise for the bride’s future role as wife, transforming it into an opportunity to have some fun is even better. For the bride. For the wedding. And for the marriage. In other words, everyone who cares about the Special Couple could use a little Naughtiness.